What i thought i once knew and thought i understood is all a lie to me, ive been through this pain a hundred times and more but this time it hurts so much more than the last i wish i knew what i did wrong or what i had to do more to keep what i so dearly loved, now lost in the folds of time memories only getting older and as such only getting more and more fuzzy, ive been losing myslef slowly, losing myself into a world of comfort that i have too eagerly pulled together around me, too quickly threw the paint on and now i cringe at the cracking paint and loosening seam around me. what have i done? i have been assured it was not me, but then why did i hurt and get hurt through it? certainly i did something worng and now i am feeling it and i am feeling it hard. i have pondered a few and many things that i could have done wrong and indeed i have found a fast entry onto what those may have been, but they were small and in all occasions were rivaled by the wrongs done done by the others, i just wish i knew what i had done, and what i could have done to fix that, most of all i just wish that i could get over it, i am glad how things stand now, i am happy on how things turned out, but i cant let go... why...
that is all